My story in 12 programming languages... some of which are jokes

1. Python

I have a feeling everyone here has heard of python so I don't think I have to give an explanation.

Code:

print("AtomicByte!")

2. Javascript

I know everyone here has at least a small understanding of javascript because it's so popular and has such a large user base. This code will log "Atomic doesn't know javascript" to the console.

Code:

console.log("Atomic doesn't know javascript");

3. Rust

Rust is a compiled language that's rising in popularity extremely fast. It's useful when creating high performance systems and is a good choice when using webassembly. It's flexibility is almost on par with C and C++ but it still manages to be memory safe.

Code:

println!("AtomicByte loves StackOverflow");

4. GO

To be honest I dont actually know much about go. But I'll tell you all I know. Go compiles to machine code and is sometimes reffered to as "C for the 21st century". It also built docker which if you dont know, is one of the most useful tools for developers.

Code:

package main

import "fmt"

func main() {
    fmt.Println("Atomic slowly walks to the cliff in his despair..")
}

5. Java

Java is one of the most famous languages as of 2022. It also powers our favorite sandbox game: Minecraft. But when you're new to it, it makes you want to jump off a cliff (this info was derived from personal experience). Just have a look at this...

Code:

public class Main{
    public static void main(String[] args) {
        System.out.println("At this point, Atomic is prepared to jump");
    }
}

6. C

C is a "mid-level" programming language that has a ton of flexibility. This makes it vulnerable to memory leaks but I'm not gonna get into that.

Code:

#include <stdio.h>

int main() {
   printf("Atomic JUMPS!");
   return 0;
}

7. Binary

This is where this stuff starts to get crazy. Binary is represented to 0's and 1's. Computers handle data as a stream of binary data. This is the work of transistors which you can google for info.

Code:

01000001 01110100 01101111 01101101 01101001 01100011 00100000 01100010 01110101 01101101 01110000 01110011 00100000 01101001 01101110 01110100 01101111 00100000 01100001 00100000 01110010 01101111 01100011 01101011 00100000 01101111 01101110 00100000 01110100 01101000 01100101 00100000 01110111 01100001 01111001 00100000 01100100 01101111 01110111 01101110

The above code says "Atomic bumps into a rock on the way down"

---

Esoteric Programming Languages

Esoteric Programming Languages, or esolangs for short, are also sometimes known as "Joke Languages" due to their uselessness.

8. Whenever

Whenever isn't like your usual language. A regular language would run your code in a specific order. Whenever runs it WHENEVER it wants in WHATEVER order. Here's an example:

print("Atomic wakes up");
print("Atomic finds free robux");
print("Atomic gets a girlfriend");
print("Atomic's math homework magically gets finished");

Because whenever runs this in its own order, this is a possibilty of what gets printed to the terminal:

Atomic's math homework magically gets finished
Atomic finds free robux
Atomic gets a girlfriend
Atomic wakes up

And that's the sad truth of life for ya.

9. ArnoldC

This programming language consists entirely out of famous quotes and one-liners from movies featuring Arnold. I want my code to print out "Atomic survives the fall". Here is how I do it:

IT'S SHOWTIME
    TALK TO THE HAND "Atomic survives the fall"
YOU HAVE BEEN TERMINATED

10. Chef

In chef, all programs look like cooking recipes. This code was a pain in the ass and I hope you like it.
Code:

Freshly Crushed Atomic Battered With Hard Rock.

This recipe will print "Atomic looks up..." into the terminal!

Ingredients.
 65 l AtomicByte
116 l water
108 l salt
111 l 10_rats
109 l troll_snot
105 l onions
 99 l all_my_friends
 32 l some_space
107 l your_fist
115 l pencil_box
117 l speakers
112 l discord
 46 l mixing_bowl

Method.
Put mixing_bowl into the mixing bowl.
Put mixing_bowl into the mixing bowl.
Put mixing_bowl into the mixing bowl.
Put discord into the mixing bowl.
Put speakers into the mixing bowl.
Put some_space into the mixing bowl.
Put pencil_box into the mixing bowl.
Put your_fist into the mixing bowl.
Put 10_rats into the mixing bowl.
Put 10_rats into the mixing bowl.
Put salt into the mixing bowl.
Put some_space into the mixing bowl.
Put all_my_friends into the mixing bowl.
Put onions into the mixing bowl.
Put troll_snot into the mixing bowl.
Put 10_rats into the mixing bowl.
Put water into the mixing bowl.
Put AtomicByte into the mixing bowl.
Pour contents of the mixing bowl into the baking dish.

Serves 1.

11. Brainf*ck

Most of you know brainfck and know that it is almost harder than the language that is up next. Try putting the code below into a brainfck online compiler to find out the great conclusion of AtomicByte! lmao

Code:

----[---->+<]>++.--[----->+<]>+.-----.--.----.------.[--->+<]>-.++[->+++<]>+.++++++++.+++++.[---->+<]>+++.---[->++++<]>-.--.++++.[->+++<]>++.--[--->+<]>--.-----------.---.-.-[--->+<]>-.[->+++<]>++.[--->+<]>+++.-[---->+<]>++.---[->++++<]>.------------.---.--[--->+<]>-.---[----->++<]>.---.------------.++++++++.

12. MALBOLGE!

Here it is... the one you've all been waiting for. Malbolge, literally named after the 8th circle of hell and designed to be as hard as possible, is the hardest programming language in the world. This language is so hard that I couldn't find a way to even write AtomicByte name in it. JUST LOOK AT A HELLO WORLD PROGRAM IN IT!

Hello world Code:

(=<`#9]~6ZY327Uv4-QsqpMn&+Ij"'E%e{Ab~w=_:]Kw%o44Uqp0/Q?xNvL:`H%c#DD2^WV>gY;dts76qKJImZkj

Outro

So that's it. Some random story which I made up, inside of 12 programming languages. Follow me on github for a part 2 where I make an Esoteric Programming Language.